In a recent interview with ThisDay, the woman some fondly called 'effervescent Florence' said at age 70, she remains socially very busy and cannot guarantee that she would remain single for the rest of her life.
"I have amazing friends; I am socially very busy as well but I have friends that respect me and will not take advantage of that friendship. I have very civilised male friends who do not want to take advantage. So if I want to go for dinner I have friends both Nigerian and non-Nigerians that will take me out. I have friends that will travel with me; we have very excellent and decent relationship. However, I cannot guarantee that I would remain single for the rest of my life," the quintessential woman said.
Excerpts of the interview:
Q: You hardly look 70; any secret? I think the answer I always give first is that probably because the year runs so fast; the number of the years you are carrying or you have attained doesn’t allow your body to adjust to the time. However, naturally in my family, we age gracefully and from where I come from as an Efik woman – from the time you come into this world as a female you are made to appreciate the fact that it is beautiful to be a female. Whatever your aspirations are, whether you aspire to be the president of a country or a medical doctor, the number one thing is, don’t lose your femininity.
As a Calabar woman one is taught how to look after oneself; so we age gracefully. The idea is not to look young. I don’t want to be young – the idea is to age gracefully. So for that reason, knowing that my body is very receptive to food, I have a tendency to be fat, all my life, I have battled with weight gain leading me always to watch what I eat and it has turned out well. I made it a routine at the end of every day to find at least one hour where I relax my mind and my body. At the end of the day I enjoy a good dinner, listen to news, watch TV, listen to music and then before I go to bed, I give myself some 30 minutes of pampering.
Q:Do you sometimes feel intimidated by men? I look at myself as a human being and I don’t allow myself to be intimidated and I don’t go out of my way to intimidate people. I just know that all of us are in the business of nation building. It is for you to show your political strength.
Q:Some see you as being tough; are you? It depends on their definition of ‘tough’. But if there is anything as reincarnation, I want to come back as a woman because there is nothing as amazing and as sweet as being a woman. Therefore, whether you have to be a tough woman to survive is what I don’t know. I know that I am a good strategist; I strategise a lot on how to survive in a country like Nigeria. If that is called being tough, so be it.
Q:Why have you remained single since the demise of your husband? I remained single because I live by example. I have brought up children that as soon as they graduated from school, they got married and have their own children. If your environment is rough, when you change partners then your children are likely to grow up rough and to change partners and as such I didn’t want to take a risk of changing partners. However, I am a human being, there is need for me to have a relationship but I decided that at one point I have to be sure. I don’t want to say that I didn’t see anybody that was worth it but I am still sifting through so that I don’t ever change partners. At this stage of my life, if ever there will be a partner, that partner would be my partner for life. Secondly, I live a very busy life and for most part of my life in the last 10 years, I have done some very serious things that I didn’t need that distraction. I had to take care of my business and my service to humanity. I did a lot of things that I was not sure that I could have found a man that will buy into that vision and again there is issue of men feeling intimidated by successful career women and there is no way I would have negotiated my career because I have children. Though I do not intend to ever change my name which has become a brand I am not guaranteeing that I would remain single. I have amazing friends; I am socially very busy as well but I have friends that respect me and will not take advantage of that friendship. I have very civilised male friends who do not want to take advantage. So if I want to go for dinner I have friends both Nigerian and non-Nigerians that will take me out. I have friends that will travel with me; we have very excellent and decent relationship. However, I cannot guarantee that I would remain single for the rest of my life.
I always tell people that I am a Calabar woman and we are very civilised people from beginning. There is nothing you can do about age except to manage age and not to allow age control your life. I don’t do young things because I don’t want to be young. I can’t remember the last time I did young things because of my life has been full of very profound responsibilities and I was brought up by my mother to think like an adult, to always take responsibility. I do not dress young because I have grown up children but I do not negotiate and will never negotiate ageing beautifully and gracefully. I will not negotiate aging with my waistline in place so that I can get into my pants, my jeans and my nice dresses. That is non-negotiable. I have always looked up to women like Jane Fonda, Meryl Streep and Tina Turner. Those are the women that inspire me because they have always looked very good despite their age. After looking at them, I don’t want to be young; I just need to appreciate myself.
Q:How can a woman position herself for achievements in Nigeria?
Generally, women always have the ability to manage the home and manage work. I believe it is a natural thing with being a woman especially being a good woman. The fact that you are a woman does not mean you shouldn’t have a career and also does not mean that if you have a career that you would not be able to run your home. My mother was a very busy journalist but she was an incredible mother and a fantastic housewife. As a matter of fact, I used to see her do her report while cooking. I think women naturally have that capacity to manage the stress of running the home, the children and their career.
Generally, women always have the ability to manage the home and manage work. I believe it is a natural thing with being a woman especially being a good woman. The fact that you are a woman does not mean you shouldn’t have a career and also does not mean that if you have a career that you would not be able to run your home. My mother was a very busy journalist but she was an incredible mother and a fantastic housewife. As a matter of fact, I used to see her do her report while cooking. I think women naturally have that capacity to manage the stress of running the home, the children and their career.
Q:What has kept you going? I think my inspiration comes from the environment in which I grew up. I grew up in an environment of very strong women. I grew up amongst my mother and even my father’s mother. Also, my terms of responsibility helped me. I grew up knowing that I don’t have a choice than to do what I have to do just like the Americans would always say. That alone gives me a lot of strength and courage. In addition, looking at a lot of people that look up to me really inspires me. There a lot of people that next to God looks up to me. That again is indeed inspiring; that is very energising.
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| Ita-Giwa in her much younger days |
Q:When would you call your best moments growing into womanhood?
(Laughs) Do you mean growing into womanhood as a baby? My best moment in life was discovering myself as a woman, discovering those things that make a woman and discovering what aspects of career I wanted to pursue at the beginning of my own independence. Also, meeting my husband, falling in love and getting married, having children and most recently would be adopting children who today are doing amazingly well and remaining my source of pride. Anytime I look at them, I feel many inches taller than I am. All these are the things that make growing up get really exciting.
First of all, they have to appreciate the fact that being a role model they have to live by example. You must understand and have to know that whatever you do in life, people are watching you and they are looking up to you and also they want to be like you; which means that you would not want to let them do what is not right. That takes a lot of sacrifice for you to live up to that expectation.
Q:Do you have experts who handle your wardrobe? It is natural; I do them myself. I grew up in an environment where from birth, apart from being a journalist, my mother was also a dressmaker and she was naturally gifted. I was fortunate to be her only daughter and so she used to dress me up. I grew up dressing well and also know how to take care of my clothes. I grew up knowing how to come out looking good and so I don’t have a need for a wardrobe manager. I know all the thousands of clothes I have because I know the time I take in buying each of them. I don’t just shop off the shelf. No matter how many dresses I have, they all have their various sentimental values I attach to them.The interview was extracted from ThisDay
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